The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city areas, sex is easily available, and that in index itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your find more time if the sex More about the author isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Brain”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar