The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to incredibly hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of destination, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that much of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urban locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not see here now there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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